What is a safety Plan?

A safety plan is a detailed plan of action that can help lower your risk of being hurt by your partner. If your safety is at risk, create a plan to keep yourself safe and find the support you need. You know your situation better than anyone else; trust your judgment and weigh your options before taking any steps.

The decision to leave your partner is a tough one. The break up is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship. Your partner might become angry, even violent, when they learn they are losing control. Now, more than ever, it is important that you find support. You have the right to a violence-free relationship. No matter what your partner says, abuse is NOT your fault.

 

1

If you don’t feel safe, don’t break up in person. If you decide to break up in person, do it in a public place and ask someone you trust to be nearby in case you need them.

2

Think independently and trust your instincts. Don't let anyone talk you into doing something that's not right for you.

3

If you live with your partner, try to establish and maintain a regular routine. Leave your home regularly during the day, whether you go to school, work, or the store. This could help you leave without drawing attention to yourself.

4

Practice your escape. Know which doors, windows, elevator, or stairs would be best.

5

Have a packed bag ready. Hide it in a place that you can get to quickly or leave it with a trusted friend or family member.

6

Learn the best route to get to a safe location. If you have a car, keep your gas tank full and if you rely on public transportation, learn which buses, trains, or subways will get you to safety.

7

Have a “code word” to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors. Ask them to call the police when you say that word, if you feel comfortable involving law enforcement.

What do I need to take with me?

It is important to be prepared. Have a packed bag ready. Hide it in a place that you can get to quickly. Try to plan ahead and have these items available in case you have to flee:

Important Paperwork

Birth certificates, social security cards, passports

Driver’s licenses, car title, lease or mortgage papers

Insurance information

School and health records, welfare and immigration documents

Legal Documents

such as:

A restraining order

Marriage license

Divorce or other court documents

Forms of Payment

Cash

Credit cards

Bank account numbers

ATM cards

Phone Numbers & Addresses

For family, friends, doctors, lawyers, and community agencies

Keys

Medications & Prescriptions

Change of Clothes for you & the Kids

Comfort Items for the kids

Healing after Abuse 

An abusive relationship can take a huge toll on your mental and physical health. Your partner has probably become a big part of your life; you might miss him or feel lonely and sad after the break-up. Confide in someone you trust to support you while you adjust.

Citations:

The Center for Relationship Abuse Awareness Education & Action, https://stoprelationshipabuse.org

National Domestic Violence Hotline, https://www.thehotline.org

Futures Without Violence, http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org

Is It
Abuse?

The first step toward freedom is to educate yourself about the signs and patterns of domestic violence and abuse

The Power & Control Wheel

What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse—or domestic violence—is a pattern of behavior used to cause fear and gain control over another person. It may involve verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, financial and spiritual forms of abuse.

Abuse Comes in Many Forms

Verbal & Emotional Abuse

includes name calling, ridicule, derogatory comments, blaming, false accusations, lying, jealousy, causing public embarrassment, anger/rage, tantrums, threats, intimidation, crazy-making behaviors, harassment, criticizing personal appearance, isolating you from family and friends, interfering with work, school, and appointments.

Physical Abuse

includes slapping, kicking, strangling, pinching, biting, pulling hair, burning, tying up, using a weapon, physical restraint, throwing objects, destroying property, reckless driving to cause fear, all forms of sexual abuse, including groping, assault and rape.

Financial Abuse

includes taking sole control of the money to the degree that the other person has to ask for necessities, denying the freedom to work, forcing to work then taking all the money, making secret financial decisions that jeopardize family stability, blaming financial problems on others, buying unnecessary things while the basic needs of others are not met.

Spiritual Abuse

includes misusing scripture and words like "submission" and "obey" to maintain power and control, asserting spiritual domination in a relationship, or denying the right to attend church or religious activities or to read the Bible.

Why do people abuse?

POwer & Control

Power, control and abuse are used to keep her from leaving him. His fear is intense, and usually unspoken. The abuse actually causes her to want to leave. The abuser’s desire for power and control creates an inherent power imbalance so common in oppression.

Entitlement

The abuser believes that he has a special status and that it provides him with exclusive rights and privileges that do not apply to his partner. The abuser feels entitled to be the center of his partner's universe. Her world should revolve around meeting his needs, and if she fails, he feels entitled to punish her for it. False teaching and misinterpretation of scripture can contribute to abuse.

Learned behavior in relationships

Role models were aggressive and abusive. Abuse is learned behavior that the abuser chooses to follow.

There is Hope

God can redeem, heal,
teach, and give freedom

To every person who:

  • recognizes their patterns of abusive behavior,
  • asks God for help to break the cycle of  abuse,
  • truly repents without excuse as evidenced by a consistent change in their behavior,
  • and accepts the consequences of their actions.

Domestic Violence Quick Facts

  • 1 in 3 women will be a victim of domestic abuse in her lifetime.
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States—more than rapes, muggings and traffic accidents combined.
  • The most dangerous time for an abused woman can be when she leaves or attempts to leave her abuser.
  • 70% of abusers also abuse the children in the household.
  • 50% of all homeless women and children living in America are fleeing domestic abuse.
  • Four in five Native American women experience domestic violence, a rate ten times the national average.
  • An estimated 90% of all women and girls on the Wind River Reservation have been sexually assaulted. Homicide on the Reservation is also ten times the national  average and according to the Association on American Indian Affairs, murder is the third leading cause of death for native women ages 10-24. 
  • In Wyoming, there are more severe legal penalties for abusing a dog than abusing your female partner. You can serve up to a year in jail for animal abuse and only six months for domestic violence.  
  • In 2021, the Fremont County Sheriff’s Department received 1700 calls for domestic violence & 300 of those calls involved women seeking safe shelter.  
  • The cost of domestic violence is $8.3 billion dollars annually and 8.0 million work days are lost each year as a result of domestic violence nationally.

Domestic Abuse & Homelessness

Domestic abuse is the immediate cause of homelessness for many women. Survivors of domestic abuse are often isolated from support networks and financial resources by their abusers, which puts them at risk of becoming homeless. As a result, they may lack steady income, employment history, credit history, and landlord references. They also often suffer from anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, major depression, and substance abuse. According to multiple studies examining the causes of homelessness, among mothers with children experiencing homelessness, more than 80% had previously experienced domestic violence. 

 

Come Empty Handed & Lay Down Your Troubles.
Jesus Changes Everything.